


Crushed

by THRILLHO



Series: Bright Lights, Eight Nights of Broten [4]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bulla is a weirdo, Bulla is four, First Crush, Gen, Humor, Just a kid with a crush, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Young Crush, no romance here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/THRILLHO/pseuds/THRILLHO
Summary: Goten thought it was cute at first. Who wouldn’t? Bulla was adorable, and it did inflate his ego a bit to know Trunks’ little sister and Vegeta’s daughter had a little crush on him. The only thing was that she was starting to take it too far.
Relationships: Bulla Briefs/Son Goten, One-Sided - Relationship
Series: Bright Lights, Eight Nights of Broten [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049801
Comments: 17
Kudos: 13





	Crushed

Goten rubbed his bleary eyes. He was only half-way done with his homework but he reckoned he could use a break. He made his way to the kitchen when something made his hackles rise, a feeling that he wasn’t alone and his senses went on alert. His ears could only make out the sound of something whooshing by very fast, so fast that the objects around him rattled. But who could it be? The troubling thing was that he couldn’t sense anyone. He knew the only living beings that didn’t emit energy signatures were Seventeen, Eighteen, and a god of destruction and his attendant, but Goten felt a spike of energy for less than a millisecond—so he knew it wasn’t any of them—before it would disappear, too quick for him to get a gauge on it.   
  
Goten chose to shake it off, reasoning it was probably Trunks or Pan trying to mess with him. He wasn’t much in the mood to play their game and decided to carry on as normal. He looked through the fridge to see what his mom had cooked up. Spying a plate of chicken, Goten gleefully picked up his snack and closed the refrigerator door.   
  
“Eerrrghhhaaaa!” 

The shock of it made Goten’s muscles spasm and he dropped the plate of chicken. Behind the refrigerator door, sight unseen and energy suppressed was a little blue-haired girl in a polka dot dress and red cardigan blinking up at him with a confused expression on her face.   
  
“Why are you screaming, Goten?” she asked. She looked sweet and innocent but Goten suspected there was conniving evil behind that façade. Why else would she have been sneaking around like a goblin?  _ What is she even doing here anyway? _

Goten clutched his chest and tried to get his breathing and heart rate under control. “You scared the shit out of me, Bulla!” Goten said. Clapping her hands over her mouth Bulla broke into a fit of giggles.  _ Wow, mocked by a four year old. _

“You said a bad word!” she said, pointing at him after finishing her sinister giggling. His mom would have given him the frying pan if she was there but he couldn’t dwell too much on his lack of manners at the moment.

“How did you even get here? Do you even know the way?!” To his recollection, Bulla had never been to his house.    
  
Standing tall and proud, Bulla nodded. “Daddy is teaching me how to hide my energy,” she said. “I’m in training.”   
  
“That’s great, Bulla,” Goten said, still coming down from her surprise and feeling weak due to hunger. “So that’s why I couldn’t sense you,” Goten looked around looking for the proud papa. “Is Vegeta around to take you home?”   
  
“Nope!” She looked up gleefully at him, all smiles and bouncy energy.   
  
“Trunks? Your mom?” He was getting desperate.  _ Did Vegeta just dump her here? _   
  


“Nuh uh,” she said, still smiling in that impish way.  _ Fuck! She’s adorable! Don’t fall for it, Goten. The cute ones are the most devious. _   
  
He averted his gaze from the little girl smiling with closed eyes only to spot what happened to his snack. “Aww, my chicken!” Strewn about the floor were eight pieces of chicken, lovingly cut and prepared by his mom, scattered in different directions. Normally, Goten would have just dusted it off and eaten it anyway but Bulla was here and his mom would smack him if she heard he was teaching Bulla bad habits. Goten’s stomach grumbled demanding to be fed but he couldn’t very well kick Bulla out.

It was not missed by the intruder. “Are you hungry, Goten? I’m hungry too!” Bulla’s stomach roared louder than his.

“Sorry, Bulla, but that was all we had and now it’s all over the floor,” Goten pointed to the fried chicken pieces strewn about the kitchen floor. _ How tragic. _

“We can still eat it!” _ Okay, maybe she’s a kid after my own heart.  _ Goten was tempted to take her up on that offer but if Bulla decided to let her mom and dad know he let their precious blue-haired baby girl eat off the floor, he’d be in for it.

“No, we can’t do that, Bulla. It’s dirty,” Goten said as he went to pick up the chicken. Luckily, the plate wasn’t broken so Goten saved it to eat later.  _ No one has to know.  _ He only hoped Bulla would not notice he wasn’t throwing it away. _  
_   
Bulla pulled out a handful of bills and held them out to Goten, “We can go to a restaurant.” 

“What the—?” Goten took the offered money and counted. “There have to be thousands of zenis here!”

“Does that mean we have enough?” Bulla looked at him with big, innocent eyes. No child of Bulma and Vegeta could truly be innocent. Goten knew the Briefs were rich but he was quite appalled they would let a four year old carry around a ton of money. If he had to bet, they probably didn’t. “Who gave you this money?” he said.    
  


“No one!” There was that fiendish giggle again. “I took it from Trunks’ wallet!” she said without a hint of remorse whatsoever.

Goten tried his damnedest not to smile at the revelation but failed. “Alright, since we’re both hungry, we’ll go get burgers, how does that sound?” 

“Cool!” He knew he shouldn’t reward her with hamburgers if she stole the money he was using to buy them but his hunger and her sweet looks and enthusiasm won out. 

At the very least, he had to offer up some semblance of morality so Goten made a weak attempt at a reproach, “But you shouldn’t steal, even from Trunks, understand?” Bulla nodded.

“Can you fly faster than me?” Goten challenged her as he walked her out of the house. He never did bother locking anything—that’s probably how Bulla got in. He doubted anyone nefarious—aside from Bulla—knew anyone lived out there in the boondocks.

Bulla threw her fist up and said, “Hell yeah!” 

Goten was taken aback a bit by that, but he reasoned Bulla probably heard worse from her father. “Then you’ll have to slow down so I can keep up,” he told her instead of scolding her language. He found it easy to be indulgent with her. “You’ll have to follow me, okay? I know where the best burgers are.” 

Bulla nodded and they raced to Satan City. She was no slouch when it came to flying and he ended up having to pick up the speed more than a few times to make sure she didn’t get lost going ahead of him.

“Right here!” He began to slow down and pointed to a building. Goten grabbed Bulla’s hand to help her descend in the right place. That, and he didn’t want her to draw unnecessary attention to herself. If she was anything like her parents, she wouldn’t mind making a scene.

They went unnoticed as they landed and Goten led Bulla by the hand into the small restaurant. It wasn’t the fanciest place, an old-fashioned diner with bad coffee and cracked vinyl seating but Goten hadn’t found a better hamburger on this side of the world.

“Save our table, okay?” He led Bulla to an unoccupied booth and asked her, “How many burgers do you want?” 

To his surprise, she held up four fingers and said, “This many.” He was only planning on getting six for himself but if she didn’t eat it all he could definitely pick up the slack.

“Eh, you got it, kiddo.” Goten gave her an awkward thumbs up. Trunks’ wallet had more than enough zeni to cover all that and plenty of milkshakes and fries. Part of him wondered if he was doing the right thing. Maybe he should have called someone?

Instead, his empty stomach pulled him from those thoughts into the direction of the counter. While he waited for the order to come through he took the occasional glace at Bulla to make sure she was fine. As far as he could tell, she was being a perfect angel, totally still except for swinging her legs. He found it very suspicious. What was her endgame?

“Order up!” Goten turned around to see the harried fry cook and cashier who got their meal together with unprecedented speed.

“Um, thanks,” Goten said, balancing the trays. He was sure to leave the rest of Trunks’ allowance in their tip jar before taking it to their table.

“So, uh, Bulla,” Goten began, his mouth full of hamburger. “How did you get to my house?”

Bulla had to stand on the bench to drink her milkshake because her head barely peaked over the table when she sat down. “I flew,” she said after slurping down half of the vanilla and moving on to the chocolate.

Goten swallowed, “Yeah but who brought you?” He wasted no time in taking another bite and stuffing a handful of fries into his mouth.

“No one! And don’t tell daddy.”  _ Uh oh.  _ Goten stopped chewing. That set alarm bells off in Goten’s head.  _ They must be freaking out! _

In between Goten’s indecision, a feeling of familiar ki tore through his mind, a friend from school, “Is this your girlfriend, Goten?” Cal said. The teenage boy flanked by two girls from his school stopped at their table for a chat or, rather, ribbing.

“Yes!” Bulla, still standing in her seat, slammed her hands on the table, and nodded enthusiastically before Goten could deny it.

A collective “Aw!” came from the two teenage girls. 

“She’s just kidding.” Goten tried to laugh but anyone could tell it was forced. “She’s my—uh—”  _ What was she exactly? Well, I did go through a period of calling her dad, ‘Uncle Vegeta.’ _ “Cousin! We’re cousins.” 

“Keeping it in the family then?” Cal laughed at his own joke. “Catch you later, Goten.” The kids from his school left Goten and his ‘girlfriend’ to place their own order leaving Goten lamenting his choice of words. “Cousin? What was I thinking?” he said to himself out loud.

“We are?!” Bulla—the reason for the lie—looked at him dazzled. “What does that mean?” Again, she bounced around in the booth, full of energy, the junk food doing its job apparently.

“It means we’re related.” Goten pushed away his many plates; he wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Related,” she soundlessly mouthed trying it out on her lips. “What’s that mean?”

“Like you and Trunks live in the same house—“

“You’re gonna come live with us?”  _ Wrong thing!  _ Bulla looked at him with shining eyes and a beaming smile. A barely perceptible high pitched squeal was coming from her direction as she gazed at Goten with the most adoring expression he had ever seen.

Goten was saved from answering when he felt the cold, tense energy that he knew all too well. It seemed Bulla did too; she looked to the entrance of the diner where the brooding Saiyan prince entered. 

“You found me, daddy!” she said, reaching for her father, Goten all but forgotten. He was quite grateful Vegeta was in his regular dad clothes and not the skin tight get-ups he was prone to wear. Goten had been humiliated enough. “I’m Goten’s girlfriend! We’re on a date!” No, he spoke too soon, there was always more room for embarrassment.

Goten was quick to reassure the impassive Vegeta, “Bulla, I’m not—” but he stopped himself at the enraged warning look Vegeta was giving him. Bulla slid out from the booth and went to stand in front of her father.

“You slipped. Your energy spiked just a moment ago,” he said, his face dialed back down to its usual level of hostility.

“Dammit!” Bulla pouted and stomped her foot. “Does that mean I’m it now?”  _ Wait a minute—were they playing hide and seek? _

“No, I think we’re done for the day,” Vegeta said. 

“Come on, let’s go home, daddy.” Bulla reached out her hand to her father which he took and led him out of the restaurant. 

“Bye, cousin-boyfriend!” She waved to Goten. He dared not move when Vegeta reversed course and headed straight at Goten.

“Yes, sir?” Goten asked. He wasn’t afraid of Vegeta, exactly, but he didn’t trust the man not to make a scene. Goten already had a little girlfriend who was also his cousin apparently so how much worse could it be?

Vegeta swiped the rest of Goten’s hamburgers and glared at him daring him to object while the older Saiyan took a massive bite.

* * *

_ Ah, the weekend,  _ was Goten’s first thought as he came out of his deep sleep still keeping his eyes closed.  _ No alarm, no need to jump out of bed unless…  _

As it was second nature to him, his nose twitched in anticipation of what his mom would be cooking up for breakfast.  _ Eggs, rice maybe?  _ His lips smacked together in his drowsy state.  _ No, that’s not— _

He took a few quick sniffs, it wasn’t food but it was familiar, powdery with a hint of sweetness, a bit syrupy.  _ Someone else is in here!  _

Goten’s eyes shot open from where he was on his side to meet a pair of big blue eyes and long eyelashes. He held in his scream at the back of his throat. 

Bulla was lying on his messy floor on her stomach, her head propped on her elbows, legs kicking back and forth. “You’re awake!”

Goten cleared his throat, “How long have you been here?” He tried to appear calm though internally he wanted to fret about the room.

“I dunno. I like to watch you sleep,” she said unmoved from her place on the floor.  _ Relax, she’s just a kid,  _ he tried to tell himself.  _ But what the hell?! _

“Um, why do you like to do that?” His mind raced with how to handle the situation. Should he yell for his mom? But she might come in armed with a frying pan. He couldn’t decide because he was prevented from doing so. Bulla launched herself at him on the bed, pinning his arms to his sides in a hug.

“Because I love you, Goten, and you’re going to be mine forever!” She squeezed him so hard it felt like she was crushing his lungs and that was no small feat. What the hell were they feeding this kid?

* * *

“Do you like the rice? I made it!” Bulla said at the dinner table. 

“That’s right,” Chi-Chi said. “She put the rice and the water into the rice cooker herself.” 

“And I pressed the button!”

Goten felt he was taking crazy pills. Apparently, his mom thought Bulla coming over to see him all the time was the cutest thing and encouraged it. Now it was the three of them having dinner and he was outnumbered.

“Yes, it’s delicious, Bulla,” Goten said with his mouth full. Any other response would have earned him a slap. His admirer gave a quiet gasp and looked at Chi-Chi with stars in her eyes.

“He likes it!” he heard her whisper to his mother who nodded at the child indulgently.

Not wanting to eat in silence—and more importantly, wanting to direct the conversation, Goten spoke up, “Maybe you can learn to cook more stuff, Bulla. My mom is the best chef around.”

“Can we, Goten’s mom?” She was still a bundle of energy threatening to burst forth, it was like Vegeta sent her over hopped up on coffee to make him miserable. More often than not these ‘visits’ usually meant Goten playing with Bulla for an extended period of time and she just  _ did not  _ stop. If he could get her to cook with his mom, he might have some semblance of a social life again. 

“Of course!” Chi-Chi said. “When you get married you’ll need to know all kinds of recipes so you can feed your husband.” Goten rolled his eyes but he wasn’t dumb enough to do it in her line of sight.  _ Ugh, her old-fashioned ideas,  _ he thought as he took a gulp of water.

“I’m going to marry Goten when I get big boobs like my mom!” Bulla said standing up proud, fists on her hips.

“That’s uh, well, um—” Chi-Chi was at a loss for words. Meanwhile, the water Goten had been drinking went down the wrong pipe and he coughed trying to clear his airways. “We don’t stand on chairs, Bulla,” Chi-Chi said, ignoring Bulla’s latest declaration.

* * *

“Hey, Goten, what’s up?”

“Glad you finally answered, Trunks.”

“Yeah, well, last year of high school and all, preparing for university and all that.”

“Yeah, that and Mai too.”

“Yes, that too.”

“Listen, is there any way you can get your sister to back off? She’s freaking me out.”

“Ooh, yeah, no, sorry. Can’t do that.”

“What! Why not?”

“I don’t interfere in people’s relationships, especially not my baby sis and her fiancé.”

“Stop laughing!”

“What’s the matter? Weren’t you trying to find a girlfriend?”

* * *

“You know, Bulla, I’m thirteen years older than you. That’s a lot,” Goten said, trying to dissuade her. Bulla had wanted to pick wildflowers and she was holding his hand as they strolled around Mount Paozu. He didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

“It is?” She stopped and turned to look up at him, worry in her big blue eyes.  _ Yes! Maybe I can get through to her! _

“It is.” Goten nodded vigorously. “You’re four and I’m seventeen—”

“I’ll get bigger!” Bulla said. She smiled, the worry gone from her face as she bent down to pick another flower. “I’m going to be Pan’s auntie and buy her toys like Auntie Tights.”  _ Dammit! She has Pan on her side too? _

“But when you get bigger, I get bigger too. When you’re twenty—which is the age you can get married—I’ll be thirty-three! That’s already an old man!”

Bulla gasped, covering her mouth with both her hands, dropping his and the flowers she had collected. She looked at him with wide, troubled eyes, darting from side to side. He felt a little guilty shattering her dream like that but she’d probably get over it at the end of the day.

Unexpectedly, she sighed in relief and picked up the flowers. “I can freeze your body in the mountains on the ice con-con,” she struggled with the word, “tee-net!” She nodded proudly. “I can come to get you and unfreeze you and then we’ll get married.” Well, he couldn’t argue with that except that he’d be dead if she did that. She handed him the bouquet of weeds and a few flowers she had collected. “These are for you because I loooove yooouu,” she sang. She gave him one of those adorable closed eyes smiles she had in her arsenal of charm and Goten couldn’t help but slip in his determination not to encourage her.

“Aw, thanks, Little B,” he said, genuinely touched. He might have appreciated Trunks’ allowance more but she took his ‘don’t steal’ lecture to heart it seemed and found a way to ‘treat’ him. He bent down to her level and offered her a hug which she didn’t hesitate in accepting. 

Jumping into his arms, she whispered in his ear, “One time daddy brought mommy a flower from space.” She pulled on his neck tighter and stronger and he felt like he was in the gravity chamber with the way her strength held him at her level. Goten thought the hug was over but evidently, it was not. “They put it in goo so it got hard and lasted forever. I can cut off your head and put goo on it too.”

Upping his energy, Goten managed to pull away and hold her at arm’s length. “Um, why would you do that?”

“So I can keep it forever and look at it all the time!”

He called Bulma immediately.

* * *

Okay, so the kid had a crush. It wasn’t that unusual but it was like Bulla had never heard of boundaries and with her parents, she likely hadn’t. His appeals to Bulma fell on deaf ears. She dismissed his concerns and assured him it would pass. She even laughed saying Vegeta was going around sulking because he wasn’t Bulla’s favorite anymore.

Goten was safe at school at the moment. He was pretty sure  _ she _ didn’t know where his high school was or that he even went to school. After all, Bulla was only four and hadn’t started school as far as he knew. That’s why she had so much free time for psychological torment.

His day was going pretty well so far, Pennie, a cute girl a year ahead of him, was going to let him carry her books home and that was going to be his chance to ask her on a date. From the way she was acting earlier, he’d say it was a done deal.

“Wow, you got here fast. Did your teacher let you out early?” Pennie said as he caught her coming out of her last class. 

“Haha, something like that,” Goten said. There was no need to tell her he bolted from across campus to see her as quickly as possible. “Let me walk you to your locker.” 

Goten decided to give himself an inner pep talk.  _ I am smooth...I am suave...I just...tripped over a child? _ “Whaa!” It took only a second to recognize who it was after he recovered his balance. “Bulla! How did you find me?” He looked around, turning his head in any direction, hoping her parents or Trunks were around.

Bulla wasn’t looking at him either, she was staring daggers, hands on her hips, at the girl next to him but she was still too cute to be threatening. “Who are you?” She stomped her foot causing a tremor that shook the whole corridor. Other kids were looking around muttering and asking each other if there was an earthquake.

Pennie ignored Bulla and gripped Goten’s upper arm. The shake had made her just as rattled as everyone else. This did not escape Bulla’s attention as she laser-focused on his arm where Pennie’s hand was gripping him.

“Get your hands off my man!” Bulla pointed, accusing Pennie. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Pennie said and let go of Goten, finally noticing Bulla. An angry cute kid was hardly alarming and Pennie was more amused after shaking off the mini earthquake Bulla caused. “And who might you be.” She was all smiles and congeniality but Bulla didn’t back down from glaring.

“I’m,” she indicated to herself, “His,” she pointed to Goten, “Girlfriend.”

Goten wanted to die on the spot if not for the enchanted look Pennie was now giving him. “Oh, aren’t you the sweetest,” she said. Goten didn’t know who she was talking about but he hoped it was him. She kneeled down to Bulla’s level, “Do you think we might be able to share him?”  _ OH MY GOD!  _ This whole thing was working out to his advantage! He might come out of this on top but one look at Bulla killed that dream.

He saw her blue hair begin to rise and flicker between blue and gold, her eyes becoming pupilless and tinged green. _Oh no!_ _She’s going Super Saiyan!_ The wind kicked up around her sucking up the nearby air, causing all the students still hanging about to panic in the hallways. The walls shook and the ground trembled but still everyone’s eyes were drawn to the source of the commotion.

“No,” Bulla said before transforming into a Super Saiyan with a burst of light and energy. Goten’s mind went blank at the unexpected transformation with no plan of action coming to mind. That is until his salvation came in the form of a middle-aged man in a tight full-body leotard.

Vegeta didn’t say anything to Goten or acknowledge him in any way as he tore his daughter away—still transformed—kicking and screaming. “No! No! No! Goten loves  _ me!  _ He’s mine!  _ Mine!  _ Goten!  **_GOTEN_ ** _!”  _ She kept shouting his name as she was being dragged away. 

He looked around to make sure the students were alright but they were looking at him and trembling in fear now that Bulla was gone. 

Perhaps Goten would take Bulla up on her freezing idea—at least, for as long as it took everyone to forget what just happened—maybe it would take thirteen years.

* * *

“Hey, Bulma. Is Bulla around? I haven’t seen or heard from her in a while. She didn’t get sick, did she? I didn’t even think we could get sick. My mom sent me over with some homemade soup, just in case.” Goten lifted the twenty-liter pot full of soup that Goten had asked Chi-Chi to make for Bulla.

Bulma raised her hand to cover her laugh, “She’s fine Goten.” She led him into the kitchen where he could put down the heavy pot. “You’re a sweet kid but I’m afraid your little stalker has moved on like I told you she would.”

“Oh, well that’s a relief,” Goten said and tried as he might, he wasn’t able to keep the disappointment from creeping into his voice. “So uh, who’s this new infatuation of hers?” he asked, trying to mask his curiosity.

Bulma grinned and tilted her head to the television in their living room where there was a children's program playing. “Captain Adorapus?!” Goten said. He was familiar, Pan liked that show too. “That lame octopus pirate that sings songs about love and friendship?!” Goten pointed at the television in disbelief. Bulma nodded, not at all perturbed by Goten’s outburst.

“Yeah, it’s her favorite show now.” Goten looked to the little girl lying on her stomach, head propped up by her elbows, legs swinging back and forth as she lay on the floor staring mesmerized by the television...the way she used to look at Goten.

Goten couldn’t fathom being replaced by a fictional character, never mind one that was just a dude in an ugly costume. Maybe seeing him after a week would jog her memory?

“Hey, Bulla!” Goten approached her with a grin, those always seemed to work. “It’s me, Goten.” If he thought she was going to jump up and give him a hug, he would be disappointed.

“Hi, Goten.” The high-pitched voice normally so eager to greet him sounded thoroughly disinterested. Goten frowned, that wasn’t the welcome he had been expecting. Bulla hadn’t even taken her eyes off of the television screen to look his way. Goten assumed the same position as Bulla, positioning himself next to her.

“Can I watch it with you?”

Bulla turned her head to take a glance at him and said, “That’s daddy’s spot,” before focusing her eyes back on the screen.  _ That’s not exactly a no.  _ Goten could only stomach so much of the octopus that had heart-shaped suckers on its tentacles singing about how it’s not nice to beat up your dad.

“Daddy! It’s your favorite song!” Bulla yelled, calling for her father. 

Goten didn’t want to be there and he knew Bulla couldn’t resist a showdown challenge. “You know, too much tv is bad for your eyes, why don’t we go outside and play together?” He’d probably be exhausted afterward but he’d rather have that than watch any more of Captain Adorapus the Octopus.

“No.”  _ Hadn’t she been the one begging to play with me? _

“But you love playing with me.” He tried again.

“No, I don’t.” Bulla had not even spared him a glance once during the exchange. All her love and devotion was for that damn octopus playing guitar.

“So you don’t love me anymore?” It hurt Goten to say but she couldn’t possibly—

“Nope!” She only turned to him for a second with a bright smile before diverting her attention to the screen. “You should go home, Goten.” She may have sounded genial to anyone else but Goten had never heard Bulla’s voice so cold.

“What? But—” He began to protest but a heavy gloved hand fell on his shoulder.

“You heard her,” Vegeta said, lifting him up. “And you’re in my spot.”

  
  
  



End file.
